Postpartum Prep

When I was expecting my first baby, I focused on the stereotypical things: keeping track of baby’s height and weight in relation to various fruit and vegetable sizes, taking my prenatal vitamin, attending all my prenatal checkups, picking out names with my husband (we chose to be surprised, so we needed boy and girl names at the ready), creating a registry, and anticipating and then enjoying every minute of my baby shower (plus an impromptu one thrown by my coworkers. So thoughtful!). I didn’t give a minute’s thought to the after-birth time, aka postpartum.

But then baby #2 came, then a miscarriage, then #3…and #4…Now, postpartum #5 is “just around the corner” (actually, it’s 16.75 weeks away, but who’s counting?). With each additional child, I recognize more and more the immense value of preparing well for everything that comes after labor and birth.

You might be thinking, who does that? Or, what’s the point of that? We prepare our whole pregnancies for “showtime,” aka labor and birth. Compared to the big feels of labor, is postpartum-- the entire first year of baby’s life-- less “glamorous” because it lasts so long and is usually slower-paced (think marathon, not sprint), plus often involves un-Instagrammable things like hemorrhoids, leaky boobs, healing from a tear, and sleep deprivation? Yes.

But I’ve come to see it as its own unique time, an opportunity to show grit, embrace growth, and lean into grace. I’ve found that postpartum really is its own deal, not just the messy, bloody leftovers of labor and birth. And because it is its own time and presents its own unique challenges and experiences, I intentionally prepare for it.

Here’s a sneak peek, in no particular order, into how I get ready. If you think some of my prep is unconventional, you’re right. ;)

1) Exercise. My favorite workout channel on YouTube is NourishMoveLove, and in her pregnancy-related videos, instructor Lindsey Bomgren emphasizes that if we aren’t working out during pregnancy, we will be at our weakest when we are at our heaviest (weight). That really struck me. Exercise (especially strength training) is about getting stronger to condition my body for labor but especially for the bending down and lifting up, the holding and hip-bouncing, and all the physical (sometimes awkward) positions and movements that come with having a baby. *Especially as that baby grows and gains weight. The YouTube channel Pregnancy and Postpartum TV has great workouts for 10-35 minutes and all skill levels.

2) Planning to see a pelvic floor therapist. This is now a non-negotiable after every labor and birth. A pelvic floor PT helps me safely strengthen my pelvic floor and core, which were substantially challenged by the previous 10 months. One perk is that I’m not accidentally leaking pee when I’m coughing, jumping, sneezing, etc. Another is learning how to heal diastasis recti (ab separation), especially what exercises will only make it worse. But my PT sessions are also a form of self-care during a season when I’m heavily other-focused (caring for the baby’s needs, of course, but also caring for my older kids and attending to my marriage). I don’t just go so I can be the best mom I can be. I go because I want to heal and get stronger for me. My health is worth the investment of time and effort and money.

3) Asking two important questions. The questions are: Who can help me? And what can they help me with? I cannot do postpartum alone. I need help with meals and childcare and especially with pouring love and attention into my older kids. This is why I’ve put in the time to build a grandma tribe, so-named because the members are mostly grandma-aged women with time and hard-won expertise to share. There are any number of reasons your own family might not be able to help as much or in the ways you need during postpartum (mental or physical illness, distance, caring for an elderly parent or sick relative, etc.), but that doesn’t mean no one can help. As early as the first trimester, I start brainstorming who I know that wants to help, and what they are able to help with. I increase the chances that someone will help me if I play to their strengths, and ask for help in ways that are easy for them. If your mom can’t babysit, maybe she can stock your fridge? Perhaps your sister can organize a meal train?

4) Teaching my big kids new skills. My 3-year-old is potty training right now so that I don’t have 3 in diapers at once (the new baby and the 22-month-old will be plenty!). He and his little brother can both pick up toys, and when the new baby comes, he can bring me my water bottle (so much thirst postpartum!!). I’m also scaling up chores for the big kids.

My 7 and 9-year-old are expected to manage the table setting and clearing for each meal, sweeping the floor, along with loading and unloading the dishwasher and putting away the dishes on the drying rack. They’re in-process taking over switching clothes from washer to dryer, folding, and putting away.

5) Learning new skills myself. I’m purposefully going to bed each night with dishes in the sink or toys out in the living room or some other tasks undone or partially done. As one of my favorite authors, Kendra Adachi (aka The Lazy Genius), points out over and over again, not everything can be important to me all the time. During postpartum, not everything will be as clean or organized as I would like. I choose to accept that, and it’s easier to accept if I’ve had practice before the baby comes. Acceptance is a skill.

6) Learning a new hobby. Part of what can be hard about the early postpartum period in particular is how slow it is. Yes, at first, I don’t maybe notice because I’m so sleep-deprived. But at some point, I recognize that my world has gotten really small, and my sense of time is measured by feedings and trying to sleep. This slow-down is an opportunity to intentionally and purposefully rest and recover and be oh-so-present to the moment (and baby!) in front of me. Still, it can be jarring and disorienting if I’m only ever used to being on-the-go and productive. Since I believe life happens for me, not to me, I’m learning a new hobby that trains me to be present and focused and relaxed, all at once: archery!

No matter what number baby you’re expecting, lady, I hope you’ll spend some time thinking about how you can prepare for a peaceful postpartum. You won’t regret it!

Written By: Anne Marie Williams - I help moms experience postpartum as a time of grit, growth, and grace. Let's do postpartum on purpose. 

Instagram: @postpartumonpurpose

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Website: Postpartum on Purpose